Featured Tip
Wardrobe Malfunctions
Recent casualties have brought to our attention that users of the “Wilberforce Patent Double-Gusset and Splashback” should remember said items are perishable and should be regularly replaced in order to avoid whiplash.
Random Tips
Reducing the Food Bill
Mrs Saxon offers some excellent advice for people on a budget: “it is always worthwhile rummaging through food bins at major supermarkets. There is a treasure trove of food to be found, as well as the occasional rat.”
Alternative Medicine
Miss Havelock considers that as far as alternative medicines go, Gin is most efficacious as a local anaesthetic and sterilising agent when taken internally. If applied in sufficient quantity you won’t feel a thing for hours (or, for the adventurous, the whole of 1974).
The Joy of Drip-Drying
In clement weather, peg your laundry on the clothes-line rather than using the electric dryer. Drip-drying in this fashion will not only save money but also saves wear on clothes, towels, sheets and – it transpires – poodles.
Five a Day
Many members are concerned they are not getting enough greens in their diet due to soaring vegetable prices. Miss Trubshawe, however, suggests they simply turn off their all-electric refrigeration cabinet. Given enough time, she assures us, everything inside the device will become green.
Caring for Pets
With regards to selecting a suitable pet for the home we are reminded of the case of Miss Philby who was a great animal lover and whom animals loved in return. Sadly, after her death only her trick knee, a false eye and some very well-fed animals could be found. Our advice is to steer clear of anything larger than a goldfish.