Featured Tip
Wardrobe Malfunctions
Recent casualties have brought to our attention that users of the “Wilberforce Patent Double-Gusset and Splashback” should remember said items are perishable and should be regularly replaced in order to avoid whiplash.
Random Tips
Vegetables
Ms. Zimmer insists on us recommending cucumbers. She indicates that they are exceedingly effective but has not yet elaborated how.
Alternative Medicine
Miss Havelock considers that as far as alternative medicines go, Gin is most efficacious as a local anaesthetic and sterilising agent when taken internally. If applied in sufficient quantity you won’t feel a thing for hours (or, for the adventurous, the whole of 1974).
An Urgent Word of Warning
The pending cases against Miss Totteridge remind us that, due to the enactment of various homicide acts, it is categorically not legal to shoot a Welshman with a bow and arrow on a Sunday in any city.
Denture Fitting
We have had to remind our members that it is not only bad form, but also unwise to appropriate dentures belonging to others. As Miss Radcliffe so tragically discovered, a correct fit is essential since loose devices can lead to accidental tonsillectomy.
Caring for Convalescents
Ms. Walthorpe advises that – in line with government thinking – the bed-bound are perfect targets for austerity measures. Leftovers are ideal food, since the patient will appreciate anything you provide for them. And, she says, the less frequently you provide, the more grateful they become.