In which the Moorgate Institute of Classical Female Elders reopen communications with the Pimlico League of Educated Ladies in order to heal old wounds. New ones are just around the corner, however…
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
To remove heavy soiling, coat the offending area with melted chocolate and inform the local children that the item is sheet chocolate. Once the chocolate has been sucked out the item should be clean and can be washed as normal.