Five a Day

June 17, 2012

Many members are concerned they are not getting enough greens in their diet due to soaring vegetable prices. Miss Trubshawe, however, suggests they simply turn off their all-electric refrigeration cabinet. Given enough time, she assures us, everything inside the device will become green.

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Words of Wisdom

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

— Dorothy Parker

Top Tip!

  • Wardrobe Malfunctions

    Recent casualties have brought to our attention that users of the “Wilberforce Patent Double-Gusset and Splashback” should remember said items are perishable and should be regularly replaced in order to avoid whiplash.