Down the Tubes
To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington Smythe
Subject: The Problem Remains
My dear Clamisole,
I am glad to hear that you suffered no major calamities and I must say I completely understand your feelings – in fact I must confess that I too nearly, as Ms. Zimmer put it, “bottled it” and “slung one’s hook”.
Obviously it is, if not fortuitous, then maybe justice that our group has taken the brunt of the injuries – the fatal hypothermia and the subsequent impalement of Mrs Cathrall notwithstanding, obviously.
I am afraid to say that I am all too aware of lant-water. Ms. Zimmer has used it on a number of occasions as a curative, a cocktail for the unwary and similarly on one occasion (in combination with a pack of pre-war dolly mixtures and 2 bottles of Baby Bio) as part of a surprisingly powerful explosive.
I can only assume that Miss Twigham has obtained a copy of Ms. Zimmer’s recipe – a suggestion which worries me enormously since when correctly made it can be more than enough to blow the doors off a Securicor van.
One can only assume that the ingredients were not perfectly balanced.
Returning to a more urgent note, Enid is still a member of our group and therefore I am resolved to dealing with this ghastly situation. We must extract her from her current location!
My only problem is method.
Do you have any further suggestions?
Bathsheba