Firestorm Over Europe
To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley
Subject: Thank Heaven!
Dearest Bats,
I fear I must be considered partly responsible for the supercharged state of the Thundersley since, on one particular occasion, I had expressed concern that its occupant was not being kept thoroughly sustained with peanuts during the crossing.
Sadly my comments on the matter were misheard and Miss Fawcett thought that I requested that someone should go and “feague” Aunt Enid which had the undesirable effect of not only producing charges of trespass and theft for my member (relating to the procurement of stem ginger from the ship’s kitchens) but, naturally, a considerably enlivened Aunt Enid.
The effects of this seem to have struck rather hard. In fact, following the lightning strikes (and in a couple of cases I do mean literally) on several continental cities the Thundersley has returned home in no less an electrically unstable way. In fact the volume of static Aunt Enid is producing has led to her being banned from several residential areas after distressed owners found their cats stuck fast to the walls.
Ms. Zimmer however, has got used to the thrill of such speeds and is desperately trying to “refuel” her aunt. I have, therefore, had to have her banned from all of the Brick Lane spice emporiums (not to mention, after one particular traumatic Saturday night, several jellied eel stalls). I hope this liberty is forgivable, but something had to be done once the RSPCA made us aware of the legal implications.
That said, apart from a regrettable amount of goose-stepping by Mrs Von Smythe in Dresden we had a relatively restful holiday. Even Miss Twigham was reasonably well behaved, and only caused offence to a small party of Americans when she came into contact with some peach schnapps.
Otherwise we paid close attention to the newspapers and were able to accurately project the journey of your erstwhile captors and thus visit most of the planned sites before their arrival. As such we have perhaps the most up to date photographs of the pre-holocaust conditions of these cities and are about to produce a coffee table book with Hodder and Staughton. (Hopefully the proceeds will cover the gap in our toilet repair fund.)
Yours,
Clammy.