Spring Awakening
To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley
Subject: RE: Is all well?
My Dearest Bathsheba,
Of course we would be only too glad to assist you in your hour of dire need – although I will confess some extremely forthright views were put forward by Miss Twigham about the sagacity of allowing Ms Zimmer back on the premises without an armed guard.
I did, however, remind her that most armed guards in the London area will not come within a mile of her or Ms Zimmer since the time they procured a large shipment of ping-pong balls and sherbet dabs. (Quite what inspired them to use the sherbet as – and I quote – “additional propellant” I honestly shudder to think.)
Once reminded of these events Miss Twigham did demur slightly on the subject and stated that she would be happy to allow Ms Zimmer on the premises.
However, given that she had a particular gleam in her eye I will also lock away the ping pong balls just in case. Especially since she wandered away muttering something that sounded suspiciously like “kegels”.
I do hope Miss Hoxton was not too badly burned by your unfortunate calamity?
Clammy.