Spring Awakening
To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley
Subject: RE: Is all well?
Batty,
I can see no particular difficulty in hosting a picnic in our compound in the spring. By this time I will hopefully have had the ha-ha filled in again, so no further fractures will befall the unwary.
Or indeed, in the case of Miss Lidster, “the wary, but unable to resist coercion”.
It will also provide an excellent opportunity to press the Étagère back into the service for which it was intended (once it has been thoroughly sterilised and the remaining dentures found suitable homes of course).
I will also look into having Miss Condon’s CB rig turned off for the occasion as her continued modifications have made it a serious danger to not only Miss Fraubert but also those members with pacemakers. To be brutally honest I only allow Miss Condon to retain the device as the resulting harmonic resonances help to descale the kettle (and, I am regretfully informed by Madame Colitis, used contraceptive coils.)
With regards to our forthcoming celebrations, would it be too presumptuous to ask that we don’t try and arrange a theme? Madame Colitis keeps suggesting that we make it a hoe-down and, whilst I confess I don’t fully grasp her meaning, I have a nasty suspicion that her old profession may be looming large in her head.
Yours as ever,
Clammy.