The Kerb-Crawling of Ms. Alice Zimmer

To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley

Subject: Who could forget?

Dearest Bats,

I have to say the incident still surfaces unbidden in my memory whenever I see re-runs of “Band of Gold”.

Personally I do think that the magistrate was more than generous in calling her work a “short sharp shock” treatment for her clientele. Indeed I can imagine several of the gentlemen will be more discreet in their choice of evening activities having been faced with the “experience”, as his Lordship called it.

I did feel, however, that terming £52.30 “a modestly successful haul, considering” was perhaps a little unnecessary, mind.

Sadly the cat must now be taken to the vets for treatment of its fleas. I gather that the new arrivals are of a type usually found on humans so I am currently discussing the possibility of a two-for-one deal with Miss Mountjoy. (She is of course completely oblivious, but she’s cost me a fortune in Raid over the years.)

The tickets came through today, I might add. It appears that we are booked on the 4.33 ferry which probably explains the cheapness of the cabins.

We have taken the liberty of arranging taxis to take us there. After previous outings our choice of firm was somewhat limited and on this occasion we have had to make use of the hire division of Fillis and Leavers Memorials. (If nothing else their cars are very smart and spacious – and as an added bonus they come complete with their own curtains.)

Words of Wisdom

Every silver lining has a cloud.

— Rob Morris

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