Chapters featuring "Townsend Thoreson"

The Kerb-Crawling of Ms. Alice Zimmer

Following a sequence of unseemly and ghostly goings on at a séance the ladies begin to plan for a holiday. Sadly it becomes apparent that Ms. Zimmer is back to her old tricks…

Words of Wisdom

Old age is like an opium-dream. Nothing seems real except what is unreal.

— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Top Tip!

  • Dealing with Heavy Soiling

    To remove heavy soiling, coat the offending area with melted chocolate and inform the local children that the item is sheet chocolate. Once the chocolate has been sucked out the item should be clean and can be washed as normal.