The Kerb-Crawling of Ms. Alice Zimmer

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.

Subject: Old Habits Die Hard.

Dearest Chlamydia

I’m afraid that Ms. Zimmer still harks back to days when the purpose of our group was quite different. If you remember the cat was originally an absent-minded “part payment”, the poor thing. But what with all the recent problems its predicament has not been at the forefront of my mind.

As for Miss Mountjoy, I will confess that a number of my ladies have complained that when they come in close proximity to her for any period of time they need to take iron tablets to counteract the anaemia.

All things considered I think the poor old thing should be put down if nothing else can be done. (The cat that is, not Miss Mountjoy!)

Yours, as ever

Bats

Words of Wisdom

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

— Jennifer Yane

Top Tip!

  • Frugal Teatimes

    Ms Anjina has reminded us of another thrifty tip when entertaining: keep old teabags and reuse them when guests come round. (She herself is still re-using a free PG Tips sample from 1987 for her increasingly infrequent visitors.)